It had already past 5 mths and 2 weeks..
During this period I keep changing myself..
To impress you? To impress myself or just to make me feel better?
I totally have no idea of it..
I keep remind myself and tell myself that all I did this is to make myself better and make you regret for not giving me a chance..
But what is the actual reason? Myself don’t even know now..
I am really changing..everyone notice that..
Now I become more feminine? Or I just want to use make up to hide my real emotion?
Some say I become more mature because I start to make up when I go out..
I start to buy more dress.. I start to care more abt my outfit and look..
Some say I become more 38 already because I started to make up and dress nicely..
Some asking me am I trying to impress any guy?
Some ask am I in any relationship now?
I don’t know how to answer... seriously I hope to know the answer too..
What I am doing? And why am I doing this?
Nowadays when I look into the mirror I always wonder who is this?
Why can’t I be like the past go out without make up, without perfume by just applying sun block?
What’s the use when I start to open my mind and accept more challenges but I close my heart from accepting anyone?
I don’t share with anyone now.. I don’t talk to jiejie..i don’t talk to erjie..
Not that I don’t wanted to share..
Is because I really don’t know what to tell..
Everyone hope I could get through..
Everyone hope I should just give up..
I hope not to disappoint them..
I know..i really know I should do that..
I know he have no love interest on me..
I know he don’t like me..
I know..i seriously know everything..so pls stop reminding me..pls stop..
I try not to see your photo..
I try not to view your profile...
I try not to talk to you..
I try not to concern abt you..
I try to talk abt you casually like I have nvr fall in love with you before..
I try to do everything which can help not to think abt you..
I even try to tell myself that you are a f*cking bastard, you are a bad guy..
I almost success..i really almost success by doing this..
But Guni I miss you..i still love you..
I am sorry I am really sorry
Now the only thing that I can do is to..
Keep pretending that I had already gone through even though you still deep inside my heart..
I will keep pretending until the day when I really get over you..
I nvr regret loving you..
I nvr regret for what I had done..
I take it as a lesson..
This is a very precious lesson that you had taught me..
I hope to see you in the future..
By the time I hope you will still remember me..
Hope we can still be like the past..
The past which I haven’t fall in love with you..
The past when bh and hl are good friend and always trust each other J
I really that this day will come..
Pls help me
