Monday 23 January 2012

Busy week

What a busy week~
After most of you had went back to your own country,
I started my part time job again…
I worked everyday more than 10 hours…so tiring L

The reasons that I wanted to work on everyday is because that I need moneyyyyy…LOL
The other reason is I want to make my mind don’t have any extra time to wondering about any other things…

I have a scary habit which is
Once I have free time I will make out lots of different scenario on my mind and this will make me wondering around…
And by doing this my emo wave will come back…
Therefore to avoid this I need to be busy…go away emo wave haha :p

Hmm you had been back to your hometown for 1 week plus…
We nvr talk much in this week because you always online at the timing which I am working…
So I can’t really chat with you…but is ok I think you also quite busy over your own stuff J

Say I don’t miss you after you went back? There is definitely a lie…of course I miss you but this time is missing a friend just like I also miss all those friends who already back to their hometown…
I think this is really one of the methods…hope we doing the right thing…
So please promise me ok?

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I am scare right now and helpless also…
I don’t know what I should do after this…
I don’t want to work at my part time job anymore…
It not just tiring and the pay also VERY LOW…
I want to find job but what should I do?
What I should work as?
IT job? Management? What else?
Totally have no idea L
I really need to sit down one day and think carefully…

Anyway today is the first day of CNY...
So I would like to wish all my friends happy new year and all the best J

Fighting to myself you can do it J

Love you all my friend <3
Hope to meet you all soon 

Friday 13 January 2012

I love 2011

2011 is really a important year for me..
I know lots of new friends on that year which are important to me because they accompany me in my hardest time…
I know da jie, er jie, san jie, adik, uncle you qian, bro, kor, uncle andi and uncle long…
They all treat me really good, always help me and consult me whenever I feel lost…

In this year I also finally learn what love is….
Thank you my friend J
No matter what you treat me as right now,
I will still treat you as my friend…

I travel the first time in my life to the other country…
Behind this traveling trip there are lot of thing which had happens,
I don’t want to mention it anymore just let it remain as a mystery…
I will never ever going to forget the experience and memorizes during this trip….
I will never ever going to forget you all my dear friends J  

And I finally graduated in this year …
I am going to start my working life…
I am going to start a new life….without you all…
You all keep encourage me and tell me that I can do it I can make it but I don’t know I can or not….
Is because you all I able to have motivation…
I able to be stronger and braver…
Now I have to learn all this by my own…I know I should learn by my own but I just can’t bear to leave you all L
I wish we always will be together…
I really really wish that we can still keep in touch after this…
I hope we can be friend until all of us already old…
This is really one of my New Year wish…
Can we do that my friends?

I love 2011 because I learn a lot, gain a lot and also experience a lot…
I love Thailand <3
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To: er jie <3
Er jie you know sometime you say word that really hurt me but I know this is true friend…
Always tell me the truth…
And I wanted to tell you that…
Do you know actually I really love you like I love him?
I don’t say it out is because I don’t simply say love to anyone….
I didn’t even say I love him I only tell him I like him….
I don’t like to share you with anyone…
That’s why I don’t like to go out with you if it not just me and you..
You can scold me selfish or what but I really don’t like…
I am really glad to know you this year…
You already become one of my most important people in my life…
I want to thank you for everything…
If it without you and adik I don’t think I can make it thru this time…
You all might scold me silly or stupid but what to do? This is me…
Stupid me that’s why I always miss the opportunities L
This year you are going back to your hometown I really don’t know when we can meet again…
But I will promise that I will try all my best to stay strong and become braver and I also want to proof you wrong…
I will really go to china and Indonesia just because of you all…I will really go to find you, adik, uncle you qian and long they all…I will keep this promise…
I will and must do that…I don’t want you all to forget me L
Popiah xie I tiger oil…pls tiger oil me too and don’t forget me :’(
And I miss you
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To: adik J
Thank you adik…
We are really a pair of funny friend..
We don’t like each other maybe even hate each other at the first time when we know each other…
But somehow we suddenly become close friend?  hahaha
Maybe to you I am not your close friend but I already treat you as my close friend…
You are one of the friends I trusted the most…
I tell you everything ask you everything….
I just want to thanks you for advising me for everything…
Thank you for hearing me bugging beside you…
Thank you letting me has a chance to make fun of you and disturb you…
Thank you for being my friend…
There are lots of thing I want to thanks you really thank you adik J
We had created lots of memorizes which I will nvr forget…pls don’t forget me ok?
I know I might not be the perfect friend but still don’t forget me…
You going back to your hometown already and might not come back anymore …
I always find you and er jie when I have any troubles but now you 2 going back already I feel so empty…
Adik I will bless you and hope you have a bright future and also able to fulfill your dream…
Take care and have a good one ok?
I really hope to see in future J
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I don’t like 2012…it tear me and my friends apart L
All my friends I miss you all…
You all must promise me that we will always keep in touch ok?
Love you all <3
Shall we meet up in another 10 years?
Or maybe 5 years?  Hehe can’t wait to see what we all will become when we turn old…

Don’t go away, I still can’t bear to leave you all :’( 

Saturday 7 January 2012

Weird me

What kind of feeling is this?
I am confused….

I thought you might come that’s why the reason I choose the venue and because of this venue many of them can’t come…
But in the end you never come and the reason is a bit funny?
I never expect they will call you…you never pick up anyway and the message you reply is really a bit ridiculous…
Forget about it?
Finally I realize how “important” I am in your heart…
I always make you as my priority no matter what happen I always think of you first but you? Forget? Did you ever really treat me as friend?
I am really confused because of you…
If you really don’t like me that much then why you treat me so good in Thailand?
Why you treat me, look after me, take care of me like you really care about me?
But once you get back here you treat me like a strangers..  
You can comment with a girl which is not close with you know nothing about you but you can ignore me as if I am a transparent person…
Are you changing into the other person or this is just your real personality?
I really thought you will be different L
Am I over thinking again? Am I misunderstanding you?
I really don’t know… I am confuse L

 I don’t know how to explain the feeling right now…
Feeling disappointed, hating you or am I really giving up? Or is some other funny feeling?
I really have many different kinds of feeling after I know you…all the feelings I never felt before…
I still thinking about you sometime but…I don’t know…
I am just getting weird…..

It is the last gathering before you going back and you never come…
I hope to see you and say good bye to you but you don’t give me the chance…
But I somehow can forgive you…
Because I know you are saying good bye to your house mate…
You staying with them for more than 10 years and now you are leaving and not coming back…
I feel like crying after I thought of this…
How am I supposed to do after leaving all these friends which accompany me for more than 10 years…
They are already like my brothers, families….
Aren’t I am weird?
I am sad and disappointed when you said you forget about it yet I am still forgiving you because you are saying good bye to your friends?
I say you are changing into another person but after I sort everything in my mind I think you are not?
See, this is the so called “confused”  K

Never mind I think I am slowly changing my attitude and feeling towards you?
I am not sure…just hope that we can keep in touch as a friend…
Seriously this is my only hope now J

Anyway I am still not happy because you replied her comment and not mine and one more thing can you please be selective a bit when you confirm your friend request in facebook?
Even though I have no right to care about that but still got A BIT pissed when I see that…

Shit I seriously need to stop care about that…
We are chingu…Jo a chingu J
Take care chingu, hope to see you in future J

Wednesday 4 January 2012

Let go

After struggling for 6 mths finally is time for me to let it go.. 

I love you but I know you don’t..
I done whatever I can but it doesn’t seem working..
I tried to improved myself but it seem there are still a lot more to go..
Finally you are going back and we don’t even know when will be the next meeting..
I cried on the moment when you tell me that you are going back and not coming back here anymore..
I cried because I know I will miss you and I also know that you won’t miss me at all..
How unfair could it be..but I know this is love..
I have no regret on doing this..really no regret at all…

Thank you adik..because of you I finally realise and finally willing to let go..
What you said really ring the bell in my mind..
I am really happy to know you all…I am glad that I able to know you all in my life..and I am also thankful that you all allowed me to go in your life..
I really hope that we will not be apart..
No matter is adik, my jiejies, my friends and you..
You taught me a lot..thank you so much...
I don’t hope that much now…my only hope right now is that we still able to be friend..
Pls don’t ignore me when you get back..i really hope that we can keep in touch..
I really wanted to be your friend..
i want to attend your wedding, I want to see your baby, I want to go your hometown..
I wish that we can be friend until we already old..
I hope when we already old we can still joke ard with each other and said..
“eh you once love me right?”
And I will able to say..
“yea, so sad we cant be lover but it still good to be friend right?”
This is really what I hope..i really don’t want to lose friend like you..
Let me say it one last time…
I love you my dear friend, but I will stop it on that day when you go back..
We are still friend right? J